A good read for everyone...take a minute to look over and see where you can improve.
13 Ways to be More Coachable
By Lindsey Wilson
Sports are filled with mental challenges, many of which we athletes bring upon ourselves. The coach-player dynamic is only one of the multitude of difficulties we face, but at the same time, it is often the most difficult to navigate. And it’s not surprising why: receiving criticism in any area of life is tough – from teachers in the classroom, from the boss on the job, or from family or friends in our personal lives – but being able to graciously receive advice and mentorship is a necessary part of growth.
Being coachable is:
- Being grateful that someone cares enough about you to push you to improve beyond where you would get on your own.
- Being vulnerable enough to know you’re not perfect.
- Being open to honest feedback (even if it hurts).
- Working to actively change bad habits.
Uncoachable athletes show certain key behaviors. It doesn’t take long for a coach to spot an uncoachable player, and very rarely can a coach make a player coachable.
13 ways to be more coachable
- Listen to what your coaches say, not how they say it. Easier said than done but, like any skill, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Practice “mean no offense, take no offense” when both speaking AND listening to your teammates and coaches.
- Trust me: It’s NOT about you. If your coach is having an ‘off’ day, don’t take it personally. You don’t know what happened to them that day. Did they get reprimanded by the athletic director? Did they lose a big recruit? Did they have a fight with their spouse? Is their son failing math? Your coach’s bad day could be a result of any of the other 99% of what is happening in their life. So, odds are, it’s not you.
- Remember ‘coach’ is only one hat they wear. Many coaches have spouses, children, families, friends, and lives outside of making sure your catered dinner is ready on the road trip. While you are important to them, remember they have lives outside of you. Respect that.
- They really (REALLY) want you to be your best even if it sometimes comes out sideways. They are there to help you be successful. Trust them.
- Your coaches are more stressed than you can probably imagine. Give them a break if they aren’t perfect or if their tone isn’t right in line with what you’d prefer.
- Always say ‘thank you’. In fact, say it more often than you think you need to. Thank your coaches for taking you on a road trip. Thank them for making you watch film (and for editing the film so it’s not as long as it could be!). Thank them for scouting your opponent late into the night. Thank them for totally committing themselves to your improvement. Thank them for holding you to a high standard. And especially thank them during those moments when you don’t feel thankful… those are times when they’re helping you most.
- Always look your coaches in the eye. Don’t hold your head down. Don’t look away. You want to be treated like an adult, so BE an adult; have confidence and class and look your coach in the eye. Doing so isn’t even for them: it’s for YOU. (Yes – this time it IS about you.)
- Shocker: Your coach is human, too. They aren’t perfect (and – surprise! – neither are you). Their stresses and emotions get misplaced just like yours do. They get hurt by things you do, say, and they feel pain when you disregard them or don’t appreciate them. (See #6.)
- Don’t roll your eyes. It’s immature and says more about you than the person you’re offending. (See #7.)
- If you really have something to say, SAY IT. I’m big on communication. Huge on it, in fact. So, if all else fails and you just don’t get what you need from your coach, be an adult and communicate that in a mature way. Whining about something constantly, or tuning out and not committing yourself to your team, is NOT a solution. In fact, it’s the exact opposite: absolutely detrimental to you, your team, and your coach’s ability to effectively train you.
- Directly ask for feedback. Your coaches have a whole roster of players to look after and might not always get around to you as quickly as you’d like. Every coach would love to have one-on-one conversations or meetings every day with every player, but that’s simply not a realistic goal. Therefore, if they don’t get to you right away, go to them and ask for their thoughts and feedback.
- Be prepared. Take five minutes before every practice to release from your mind the rest of your day’s activities. Remember your goals and remember why you’re practicing. Remember that your coach has put in uncountable hours to prepare drills, runs, plays, and practices for you. So, have some respect: when you’re at practice, really, truly BE at practice. Click here for our pre-practice mental routine-the BRAVR technique.
- Set up a weekly check-in with your coach in a place where both of you can chat informally about your strengths and skills that need working on. This doesn’t have to take long. Just a few minutes after practice can be a huge help in keeping you on track to your goals.
So, that’s my list. And, because transforming yourself into a more coachable athlete is mental training, there are many, many more ways other than these simple 13 that you can use to improve.
